Journal Entry no.2: "Remember"

So its 1:21 am and I'm watching "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." I feel a lot like the main character 'Peter' in this movie. If you've never seen the movie, the plot is about a guy who's trying his hardest to forget about his ex, but it seems like everywhere he turns something reminds him of her or she pops up somewhere so its becoming really difficult for him to "forget" her. It truly seems like I'm going through the same thing. Although, I've come to the conclusion that I can't, won't, and am choosing not to forget my ex. I mean, we went through some HORRIBLE experiences, but I was looking at a bunch of old pictures of us and it made me remember all the good times we shared with one another. That's what this journal entry is actually about, "remembering the good times." In a relationship, you can't always dwell on the negative because, when you do, it leaves no room for the positive to shine through and that, in turn, holds the relationship back from progression and being able to flourish. I can say now that that was one of the biggest mistakes I made during my engagement. I didn't know how to just try to push forward without basing every decision off of the past events that took place in the relationship. In relationships, both parties are so prone to talking about the problem and yelling and arguing about it, that they don't realize that its hurting the relationship more so than the problem actually did. People..PLEASE!..you have to learn how to forgive, never forget, but know how to let go. I learned that you can't hang the bad times over your relationship like constant mistletoe and that you have to be willing to except your partner for everything their worth, plus you can't try to change them into anyone their not because when you really love someone their flaws don't matter. There are a few excercises that both parties of the relationship can do to try to maintain tranquility and purity in the relationship:

[1.] Sit down face to face with your spouse, take 30 minutes each, and just tell them all the reasons you fell in love with them. Trust me, it sounds cheesy but me and my ex did it once and were both in tears afterwards. It might not seem like it will effect anything but it really works wonders.

[2.] I'm sure you've heard this one before but so what. Take a peice of paper, fold it into halves, and make a "pros and cons" list about your spouse. Make sure everything you write in both columns are legitimate reasons for both, like don't put "she doesn't squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube" or "he doesn't put the toilet seat back down when he's done in the bathroom." Once you've done that, see which column outweighs which and if in the end the pros outweigh the cons or vice versa, you'll know what type of decision to make for self and relationship.

So in my last writings for this entry, all I'm going to say is remember why your with the person who your with. Remember to know when to pull the punches during fights. Remember that what your fighting about might not be that big of a deal to begin with and you might be blowing it out of the water. And please remember to continuously love each other unconditionally no matter what, some would rather have a no-holds-bar during fights but instead of that, try having a no-holds-bar through daily life and just love that person with your all. Give willingly, Love whole-heartedly, Know its ok to wear your heart on your sleeve, and Remember why your in Love. Peace and Much Love.

"..niggas say bitches is trife, bitches say niggas is...we just don't understand our fundemental differences.."

-Ross Lake Loves You