FUCK!!!!...It fucking feels like everytime I take 2 steps away from my pain and heartache, I end up getting knocked back 20. I know I know I know, "all Ross talks about is his past relationship shit and how much he feels hurt by it," but shit..I'm really fucking hurt. There's no reason why the only type of music I should be making or listening to is all sad as shit to a certain fashion. My mood shouldm't be this somber and just "ugh." The way I'm feeling about my situation is uncalculated and I just don't know the perfect way to word it other than to say I'm hurt. I do miss my ex-fiance and what we shared (especially after doing what I said for other couples to do in my last journal entry). I really can't seem to shake these feelings worth shit. Some would say that I should get over it and move on or that I'm being a bitch about it, but if someone can just be heartless after 4 almost 5 years of loving someone and a year of living with them, then show me that person cause I don't know how to do that or what that looks likes. Yeah, I've said it before that there were people that are trying to get me through this time in my life but its not fair for me to put that type of overbearing pressure on anyone. So I think my biggest thought is where do I go from here.
It's never been this rough or tough for me to get over a hump in my lifes road. It just seems like what started out as some small bump keeps growing into this mountain of emotional distress. I don't know, maybe I'm over exaggerating but I tend to do that a lot. Whatever, I think because I'm really emotional right now I sound like I'm just ranting or running this journal entry dry with random ass sentences. So, I'll finish this entry later when I can think a little bit more clearer and get my head togethor, *sigh*. be back later...I hope.
"..when the lights don't glow the same way that they used to and I finally get a
moment to myself/ I will realize you are everything I'm missing and you'll
tell me your in love with someone else/ so can you do me a favor, if I pull it togethor, make it sooner than later, we won't be here forever, and I realized I waited, too
long/ but please don't move on......you don't need noone else.."
-Ross Lake Loves You
soonerrrr thaaannn lattterrrrr .
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